I Joined An Improv Group

I Enjoy Having Breakfast In Bed. I Like Waking Up To The Smell Of Bacon, Sue Me. And Since I Don't Have A Butler, I Have To Do It Myself. So, Most Nights Before I Go To Bed, I Will Lay Six Strips Of Bacon Out On My George Foreman Grill. Then I Go To Sleep. When I Wake Up, I Plug In The Grill. I Go Back To Sleep Again. Then I Wake Up To The Smell Of Crackling Bacon. It Is Delicious, It's Good For Me, It's The Perfect Way To Start The Day.

Yes. It Is True. I, Michael Scott, Am Signing Up With An Online Dating Service. Thousands Of People Have Done It, And I Am Going To Do It. I Need A Username, And I Have A Great One. 'little Kid Lover.' That Way People Will Know Exactly Where My Priorities Are At.

I Don't Think Of Myself As Funny - I Don't Fill Up A Room With My Humor... I Would Fail Miserably As A Stand-up Comedian.

I'm Very Fast. I'm Like Forest Gump, Except ... I Am Not An Idiot!

I Don't Do Anything To Try To Change People's Perceptions Of Me. I Tend To Think That's Sort Of An Ego Driven Thing.