I Heard This Rumor That

Recently A Guy Was Having Trouble With His Computer. So He Unplugs It, Takes It Out In The Alley, Pulls Out A Gun, And Shoots It Eight Times. Coincidentally, That's How Hillary Got Rid Of Her Emails.

Everybody Is Wondering What Paris Hilton Will Be Doing Next, And Hell, I'm Wondering What She Did Before.

President Obama Is Going To Take Two Weeks To Unwind, As Opposed To President Bush, Who Never Wound.

The Campaign For The White House Is Heating Up With John Kerry Taking Heat For Throwing His Vietnam Medals Away, Getting A $1000 Haircut, And Wearing A 1970s Wig Known As 'the Leno.' There Are Really Two Sides To This Story. And America Can't Wait For Kerry To Present Both Of Them.

Bush Met With Former President Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter Is 76 Years Old, Or As Democrats Call Him 'their Bright New Star Of The Future.'