I Have Two Dogs. If

You Can Behead People, You Can Crucify Them, You Can Cut Their Hearts Out And Eat Them On Youtube...but, Don't Screw With The Place Where God Hid America's Oil.

New Rule: Gay Marriage Won't Lead To Dog Marriage. It Is Not A Slippery Slope To Rampant Inter-species Coupling. When Women Got The Right To Vote, It Didn't Lead To Hamsters Voting. No Court Has Extended The Equal Protection Clause To Salmon. And For The Record, All Marriages Are "same Sex" Marriages. You Get Married, And Every Night, It's The Same Sex.

This Is America. We Don't Call An Election Before We Know Who Won. That, After All, Is The Job Of The Supreme Court.

I'm A Pessimist By Nature. A Pot Head, But A Pessimist.

Sex Is Too Easy For Women To Get, And Too Hard For Men. I Mean, Honestly, For A Man To Walk Into Someplace And Have Every Woman Ready To Take Him Home, He'd Have To Rule The World. A Woman Would Have To Do Her Hair.