I Have No Plants In

The Human Body Is Like A Condominium. The Thing That Keeps You From Really Enjoying It Is The Maintenance.

If You've Got A Bloodstain On Your T-shirt, Maybe Dirty Laundry Isn't Your Biggest Problem.

A Movie Is Kind Of Like Being The Captain Of A Ship, Which Is Nice, But When I Perform By Myself It's Just Surfing On The Water And Nobody Really Knows What Happens.

The Idea Behind The Tuxedo Is The Woman's Point Of View That Men Are All The Same; So We Might As Well Dress Them That Way. That's Why A Wedding Is Like The Joining Together Of A Beautiful, Glowing Bride And Some Guy. The Tuxedo Is A Wedding Safety Device, Created By Women Because They Know That Men Are Undependable. So In Case The Groom Chickens Out, Everybody Just Takes One Step Over, And She Marries The Next Guy.

Why Is Commitment Such A Big Problem For A Man? I Think That For Some Reason When A Man Is Driving Down That Freeway Of Love, The Woman He's With Is Like An Exit, But He Doesn't Want To Get Off There. He Wants To Keep Driving. And The Woman Is Like, "look, Gas, Food, Lodging, That's Our Exit, That's Everything We Need To Be Happy... Get Off Here, Now!" But The Man Is Focusing On The Sign Underneath That Says, "next Exit 27 Miles," And He Thinks, "i Can Make It."