I Have No Hesitation Doing

There's Quite An Overlap Between Musicians - Especially Drummers - Who Have An Affection And A Proclivity Towards Comedy And Comedians Who Fantasize About Being In A Band. And A Lot Of Comics Play Instruments.

If You Wanna Find Out 101 Things To Do With Plums, Heh, Read Your In-flight Magazine.

I'm Going To Keep Talking About What I Think Is Interesting For My Entire Career. If You Want To Hear About How Women Do A Lot Of Shoe Shopping Or How Being Married Sucks, Go See The Guy Who Does Jokes About That. But If You Come To See My Live Show, There's Going To Be 20 Minutes On Religion For The Rest Of My Life, Probably. If That Makes Me A Caricature, So Be It.

I Work A Lot And I Like To Get Out And Work But The Work I Do To Make The Other Work Work I'm Not Very Good At.

All My Friends Are Always Telling Me How Hard It Is To Have Kids. 'oh, David, It's So Hard.' That's Not Hard. I'll Tell You What Hard Is. Try Talking Your Girlfriend Into Her Third Consecutive Abortion. Yeah, That's Hard, That Takes Finesse. You're Just Inconvenienced.