I Have Jokes I've Told

I Get The First Flight Out From Anywhere I Am Because I Have To Come Home To My Kids.

I Was One Of The First People To Almost Actually Vomit Over Hearing The Use Of The Phrase "family Values" And I Pride Myself On Never Having Fallen For The Idea That Barbara Bush Was Sweet And Grandmotherly. I Met Barbara Bush And, As I Expected, She Was A Tank With Eyes, Not A Nice Person At All And Why Should That Blow Anybody Away?

I Have Jokes I've Told Before And Will Tell Again, But My Favorite Part Of The Night Is Talking To The Crowd.

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

I'm Thankful For Sarah Palin's Vice Presidential Bid, Which Taught Us That Alaska Is Not In A Box Off The Coast Of California.