I Have A Nice Bookshelf

Everything Is In How You Are Going To Handle It. As A Lifelong Nightclub Comic, I'm Ready To Handle Whatever I Have To Handle.

I Am So Busy Doing Nothing... That The Idea Of Doing Anything - Which As You Know, Always Leads To Something - Cuts Into The Nothing And Then Forces Me To Have To Drop Everything.

I Was The Best Man At The Wedding... If I'm The Best Man, Why Is She Marrying Him?

It's Like Having... You Know, Your Phone Has A Charger, Right? It's Like Having A Charger For Your Whole Body And Mind. That's What Transcendental Meditation Is!

So The First Time You Hear The Concept Of Halloween When You're A Kid Your Brain Can't Even Process The Information. You're Like: "what Is This? What Did You Say?" "what Did You Say About Giving Out Candy? Who's Giving Out Candy?" "everyone That We Know Is Just Giving Out Candy!"