I Hate Flossing, I Wish

If You Are Flammable And Have Legs, You Are Not Blocking A Fire Exit.

Come On 'long Prosperous Life!'

My Apartment Is Infested With Koala Bears. It's The Cutest Infestation Ever. Way Better Than Cockroaches. When I Turn On The Light A Bunch Of Koala Bears Scatter. But I Don't Want 'em To, You Know, I'm Like "hey, Hold On, Fellas. Let Me Hold One Of You. And Feed You A Leaf."

I Wanted To Get A Tape Recorder, But I Got A Parrot Instead. I Think I Did That Joke Backwards.

I Had To Take A Physical To Do This Show. They Had A Lot Of Weird Questions Like, "have You Ever Tried Sugar Or Pcp?"