I Got Every Dan Shaughnessy

According To A New Report, Since He's Been Governor, Chris Christie Has Spent $82,000 At A Concession Stand At Metlife Stadium. Now, I Know It Seems Like The Perfect Story For A Chris Christie Joke But I'm Actually On A Chris Christie Joke Diet. So Nothing For Me, Thanks.

As Gas Prices Continue To Drop, 28 States Are Now Selling Regular Gasoline For Less Than $2 A Gallon. It's Getting Cheaper To Pump Two Gallons Of Gas Outside The Station Than It Is To Pump Two Squirts Of Nacho Cheese Inside.

You Run On The Treadmill. But You Need To Stop Watching The Food Network When You're Doing It. That Is How You Torture Yourself.

In A Recent Interview, Hillary Clinton Said That One Of The Jobs That Prepared Her To Be President Was Sliming Fish In Alaska. As Opposed To Bill, Who Learned By Catching Crabs In Cancun.

Success Is Just Happiness. When You Are Happy, That Is Success.