I Got A King-sized Bed.

At My Hotel Room, My Friend Came Over And Asked To Use The Phone. I Said Certainly. He Said Do I Need To Dial 9 I Say Yeah. Especially If It's In The Number. You Can Try Four And Five Back To Back Real Quick.

If You Have To Release Bad News To The Public, It Would Help If You Are Not Ugly.

I Don't Have A Girlfriend. But I Do Know A Woman Who'd Be Mad At Me For Saying That.

Onions Make Me Sad. A Lot Of People Don't Realize That.

I Spilled Some Vodka On The Carpet, And I Vacuumed It Up, And The Vacuum Got Drunk. I Had To Take The Hoover To Detox.