I Feel Like Today Should

I Learned That Buying Expensive Furniture With Toddlers Around Is Pointless.

I Don't Go Tanning Anymore Because Obama Put A 10 Percent Tax On Tanning. Mccain Would Never Put A 10 Percent Tax On Tanning. Because He's Pale And Would Probably Want To Be Tan.

I Don't Eat Friggin' Lobster Or Anything Like That. Because They're Alive When You Kill It.

You Have To Remember That Reality Shows Capture Your Worst Moments.

I Have An Education, I Went To College, You Know?