I Feel Empty, Not Because

What Is It With You Today?” Says Christina On The Way To Breakfast. Her Eyes Are Still Swollen From Sleep And Her Tangled Hair Forms A Fuzzy Halo Around Her Face. “oh, You Know,” I Say. “sun Shining. Birds Chirping.” She Raises An Eyebrow At Me, As If Reminding Me That We Are In An Underground Tunnel.

Instead I Just Let The Silence Stretch Out Between Us. It's The Only Adequate Response To What He Just Told Me, The Only That Does The Tragedy Any Justice Instead Of Patching It Hastily And Moving On.

He Should Be The One To Die, Part Of Me Thinks. I Don't Want To Lose Him, Another Part Argues. I Don't Know Which Part To Believe.

It's Then That I Realize: Of Course Tris Would Go Into The Weapons Lab Instead Of Caleb. Of Course She Would.

That Dot Covers All The Places We've Ever Been. You Could Cut That Piece Of Land Out Of The Ground And Sing It Into This Ocean And No One Would Even Notice. I Feel That Fear Again, The Fear Of My Own Size. 'right. So?' 'so? So Everything I've Ever Worried About Or Said Or Done, How Can It Possibly Matter?' He Shakes His Head. 'it Doesn't.' 'of Course It Does,' I Say, 'all That Land Is Filled With People, Every One Of Them Different, And The Things They Do To Each Other Matter.