I Enjoy Doing All Different

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.

In High School I Wanted To Be A Rock Star And Was In A Lot Of Bands.

If It's Something I Feel I Can Do Alright, I Like Being In Those, And Some That I Think Rob Schneider And David Spade Would Be Funnier At Than Me, I Tell Them To Do It. I Don't Have Any Clue How We Decide. There's This Thing, This "click", Actually, One Of My Friends Called Me Up, My Partner Told Me About This Idea That Steve Koren Had. Steve Koren, By The Way, The Guy Who Wrote It With Mark O'keefe, Steve Koren I've Known Since I Was 22. He Was A Page At Saturday Night Live.

I Think The Reason I Don't Read Is Because, When I'm Reading, I Feel Like I'm Missing Out On Something Else. You Know, What Are My Friends Doing? Where's My Girlfriend?

Sir One More Comment Like That And I Will Strangle You With My Microphone Wire!