I Don't Worry About Getting

Since I've Made It To 87 So Far, Obviously My Two Kids And My Seven Grandchildren Haven't Been Too Hard On Me. On The Other Hand, The Fact That I Have An Unlisted Phone Number And Move A Lot Might Have Something To Do With It.

Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne, A Nice Aftershave Lotion, And A Strong Underarm Deodorant. And It Might Be A Good Idea To Wear Some Clothes, Too.

Nice To Be Here? At My Age It's Nice To Be Anywhere.

If I Had Taken My Doctor's Advice And Quit Smoking When He Advised Me To, I Wouldn't Have Lived To Go To His Funeral.

If I Get Big Laughs, I'm A Comedian. If I Get Little Laughs, I'm A Humorist. If I Get No Laughs, I'm A Singer.