I Don't Shoot Guns. I

Christine O'donnell Released A Commercial In Which She Says, 'i'm Not A Witch.' That's Pretty Good, Though Not As Effective As Her Opponent's Slogan, 'i'm Not Christine O'donnell.'

In A Speech In South Carolina, Donald Trump Responded To Criticisms From Senator Lindsey Graham By Giving Out Graham's Personal Cellphone Number. Graham Knew Something Was Up When He Saw He Had More Than One Missed Call.

A New Poll Found That 43 Percent Of Americans Think President Obama Is Doing A Good Job At Handling The Bp Oil Spill. Of Course, The Same Poll Found That 43 Percent Of Americans Hate Pelicans.

The Pipeline Would Run From Canada To The Gulf Coast. It'll Be The Biggest Underground Structure Leading Into The U.s. Then People In Mexico Said, 'eh . . . Second Biggest.'

I Remember People Saying To Us, "you're Too Nice. Hollywood Is Going To Eat You Up And Spit You Out." I Never Listened To Them.