I Don't Like The Word

I’ll Always Be Doing Stand-up As Long As People Are Still Interested In Seeing Me.

Nothing Is More American Than Stuffing Your Face With Loaded Potato Skins While Drinking Loaded Mudslides.

I Had To Sit Down And Explain To [her Friend] That Aa Was For Quitters

I'm Very Much About Letting Other People Shine, Because It Makes Us All Shine Brighter.

I Had Sex With A Couple Guys But It Wasn't A Baseball Team. I Saved That For My Twenties.