I Don't Have Any Ambition.

I Tried To Make The Punchline As Close To The Setup As I Could. And I Thought That Was The Perfect Thing. If I Could Make The Setup And The Punchline Identical To Each Other, I Would Create A Different Kind Of Joke.

I Never Had Any Interest In Sitcoms Or Motion Pictures Or Anything Like That.

You Ever Hear Guys With Small Cocks Talk About Sex? Can't Talk About It Enough. They Even Got Poems. They'll Say, 'it's Not The Motion Of The Ocean, It's The Boat Of The Lotion.' I've Even Heard Variants..., It's Not The Tree Or The Size, It's The Axe That You Wax.' It's A Whole Sub-genre Of Poetry Now That's Taught In Many Of Our Finer Institutions.

Yeah Man, They Call Gambling A Disease, But It's The Only Disease Where You Can Win A Bunch Of Money.

A Great Cause Of Evil In The World Is That Men Seldom Think Themselves Criminal If They Offer The Same Injustice To Others That Has Been Successfully Practiced On Themselves.