I Don't Want To Be

I Tell Young Comics, 'do You Want This Badly Enough? It's There. But You Have To Go Get It. And If You Think I'm Going To Give You The Key To The Lock Of That Door, There Is No Key, There Is No Lock, And There Is No Door.'

Adrenaline Is Wonderful. It Covers Pain. It Covers Dementia. It Covers Everything.

People Hate Me Because I Am A Multifaceted, Talented, Wealthy, Internationally Famous Genius.

The Doc Told Me I Had A Dual Personality. Then He Lays An 82 Dollar Bill On Me, So I Give Him 41 Bucks And Say, 'get The Other 41 Bucks From The Other Guy.'

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.