I Don't Think We Really

The More Syllables A Euphemism Has, The Further Divorced From Reality It Is.

I Also Survived Circumcision, A Barbaric Practice Designed To Remind You As Early As Possible That Your Genitals Are Not Your Own.

The Good Lord Tripped Me Up Behind The Line Of Scrimmage.

You Know Why We're Good At It? Because We Get A Lot Of Practice. This Country Is Only 200 Years Old, And Already We've Had Ten Major Wars. We Average A Major War Every Twenty Years. So We're Good At It!

Valentine's Day Is Devoted To Love. Why Don't We Have A Day Devoted To Hatred? The Raw, Visceral Hatred That Is Felt Every Hour Of The Day By Ordinary People, But Is Repressed For Reasons Of Social Order. I Think It Would Be Very Cathartic, And It Would Certainly Make For An Exciting Six O'clock News.