I Don't Think Film Is

I First Told The Idea To An Editor I Had Met Who, After Reading One Of My Novels For Adults That Was Set In A High School, Had An Idea That I Might Write Something For Children.

Of Course, It Is Boring To Read About Boring Thing, But It Is Better To Read Something That Makes You Yawn With Boredom Than Something That Will Make You Weep Uncontrollably, Pound Your Fists Against The Floor, And Leave Tearstains All Over Your Pillowcase, Sheets, And Boomerang Collection.

But Just Suddenly I Really, Really Needed To See You Again Right That Minute, That Night.

And A Refrigerator May Hold A Basket Of Strawberries, Which Would Be Important If A Maniac Said To You, "if You Don't Give Me A Basket Of Strawberries Right Now, I'm Going To Poke You With This Large Stick." But When The Two Elder Baudelaires And Quigley Quagmire Opened The Refrigerator, They Found Nothing That Would Help Someone Who Was Wounded, Dying Of Thirst, Or Being Threatened By A Strawberry-crazed, Stick-carrying Maniac.

Everyone Should Be Able To Do One Card Trick, Tell Two Jokes, And Recite Three Poems, In Case They Are Ever Trapped In An Elevator.