I Don't Like To Drink

The Secret To Raising Children Is To Love Them... And Teach Them To Operate In A Way You Can Tolerate Them The Best.

I'm Doing 5000 Seat Theaters And Audiences Are Going Nuts, It's Fantastic And It Makes Me Very Happy. I'm Dirty, But Not Like This; I Just Do Comedy That I Find Funny. I'm Working On A New Tv Show For Cable And It's Not Set Up Yet.

My Favorite Procrastination Is To Make The Choice To Have Valuable Times With Human Beings That I Care About Instead Of Holing Myself Up Alone To Get My Work Done.

What I Have Now Are Good Problems Of Trying To Decide And What I Really Want To Do Is Good Work Next. My Phone's Ringing A Lot More And I've Got Nine Lines So When It Doesn't Ring, It's Very Frustrating.

Friend Of Mine Just Told Me He Used To Be A Bad Alcoholic. I Calmed Him Down. Told Him He Was A Good Alcoholic Just A Horrible Drinker.