I Don't Like Men Who

One Of My Friends Went On A Murder Weekend, Now He Is Doing Life For It.

If I've Inadvertently Become Some Sort Of Role Model For Failed Comedians, Then It's Really Backfired Very Badly On Me.

One Saturday In 1984, I Walked Into My First Aa Meeting. I Went Regularly For Six Years And Only Stopped When I Came To Realize My Underlying Problem Was Not Genuine Alcoholism, But Depression.

I Think It Is More A Cautiousness That Protects Me From Enthusiasm About Things. I Tend Not To Get Excited. People Perceive It As A Scowl, Which Is Fair Enough.

In My Local Newspaper, They Had This Advert: 'please Look After Your Neighbours In The Cold Weather'. I Live Next Door To This 84-year-old Woman, And Do You Know, Not Once Has She Come Round To See If I'm All Right. The Lazy Cow Hasn't Even Taken Her Milk In For A Fortnight.