I Don't Have Lungs Anymore!

You Know, Just Sometimes, In Between The First Cigarette With Coffee In The Morning To That Four Hundredth Glass Of Cornershop Piss At 3am, You Do Sometimes Look At Yourself And Think...this Is Fantastic. I'm In Heaven.

You Have To Assume That You're Talking To The Most Intelligent, Tuned-in Audience You Could Ever Get. That's The Way You're Going To Get The Best Out Of People. Whether They Know You Or Not Shouldn't Matter For Comedy. They Should Get To Know You Pretty Quickly. And They Should Be Having A Good Time Pretty Quickly.

I Have Used That Song ["50ft Queenie"] And I'm A Big Pj Harvey Fan. I Think She's Fantastic.

I Can't Relax Here. These People Have No Pubic Hair Anywhere. We Have Pubic Hair On The Ceiling.

You Know What You Are? You're A Beard With An Idiot Hanging Off It.