I Don't Get No Respect

My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge Club... I Jump Off Next Tuesday.

I Once Asked A Policeman How Far It Was To The Subway. He Said, "i Don't Know, No One Has Ever Made It".

Life Is Just A Bowl Of Pits.

When My Parents Got Divorced, There Was A Custody Fight Over Me. ... And No One Showed Up.

What A Childhood I Had. Once On My Birthday My Ol' Man Gave Me A Bat. The First Day I Played With It, It Flew Away.