I Don't Feel Qualified To

The Funny Thing About Our Act Is That Dad Gets The Worst Of It, Although I'm The One Who Apparently Receives The Bruises [...] The Secret Is In Landing Limp And Breaking The Fall With A Foot Or A Hand. It's A Knack. I Started So Young That Landing Right Is Second Nature With Me. Several Times I'd Have Been Killed If I Hadn't Been Able To Land Like A Cat. Imitators Of Our Act Don't Last Long, Because They Can't Stand The Treatment.

I Was Mad At The Time, Or I Would Never Have Done The Thing.

All My Life I Have Been Happiest When The Folks Watching Me Said To Each Other, `look At The Poor Dope, Wilya?

If One More Person Tells Me This Is Just Like Old Times, I Swear I'll Jump Out The Window.

Tragedy Is A Close-up; Comedy, A Long Shot.