I Don't Care If You're

My Act Is So Completely And Totally Uncensored That The Only Way I Could Really Pull It Off Is If I Treat The Audience Like They're My Best Friends.

I Talk So Much About Sex That Girls Just Want To Meet Me.

I Always Do That At The End Of Shows, Like A Q&a Session. First Of All It Lets People Know That This Isn't Some Preprogrammed, Press-play Show Where I Have To Say The Exact Same Words In The Exact Same Order. That's Part Of The Thing With Live Comedy Is That People Like The Fun Aspect Of It And I Enjoy The Taking Questions Part.

When You're Jealous, Especially Of Someone Else's Art Or Creations You Automatically Put Up These Selfish Walls That Reinforce Your Stupid Ideas. It's Hard To Pull Those Walls Down And Look At What You're Hiding. Look At Your Own Weakness And Realize That The Jealousy Came From Knowing That You're Intimidated By Someone Else's Work, And That When You Compare It To Your Own, You Fall Short.

People Do Always Try To Smoke Pot With Me. But I Think Some Of Those People Are Cops.