I Didn't Raise My Kids

I'm A Lapsed Catholic In The Best Sense Of The Word.

In Addition To My Cousin, There Were 30 Or 40 Guys I Grew Up With Who Became Firefighters As Well. So, I've Been Around Firefighters All My Life.

I Think Daycare Is Great For People Who Have To Work Two Jobs. My Problem Is With People Who Are Dropping Kids Off At Daycare Because They Want To Go Out And Spend The Day Golfing Or Getting Their Nails Done. You Know What I Mean? That's Not Why They Invented Daycare.

Here's The Problem With Easter. The Catholic Church Needs To Pick A Date Because It Keeps Moving. And I Think The Reason They Always Have Easter Moving To Different Dates Is To Catch Us.

Elvis And I Call Up Cadillac Dealerships All Night Long, Suckin' Down Ny Quil Stingers And Cheese. He Says, What The Hell's Lisa Marie Thinking With That Michael Jackson Crap?