I Decided To Stop Drinking

People Who Are Willing To Get Off Their Arse To Search The Entire Room For The Tv Remote Because They Refuse To Walk To The Tv And Change The Channel Manually.

Sometimes There's A Tackiness About Route 66 That Out-tacks Any Tackiness I've Ever Seen Anywhere Else. And The Meramec Caverns Are The Pinnacle Of That Tack.

I Always Look Skint. When I Buy A Big Issue, People Take It Out Of My Hand And Give Me A Pound.

Honestly Some Folk Will Take Offence At Anything, I Met A Bloke With No Legs This Morning While At The Bus Stop, All I Asked Was "how Are You Getting On?"

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce.