I Bought A Cactus. A

I Love Bowling Almost As Much As I Love Not Bowling.

I Just Started Doing This One-man Show, And I Wanted To Be Able To Score It, So I Bought A Guitar, And Got A Keyboard And Got A Harmonica. I Remember When I Started That I Didn't Understand Why A Harmonica Had Different Letters On Them.

Whenever I Investigate A Smell, I Find That The Answer Is Always Bad. It's Never: 'what Is That? *sniff* Muffins!'

I Think A Bad Place For A Fire Would Be The Factory Where They Make Those Trick Candles.

I Saw A Dog Wearing A Sweater And I Thought That Looked Ridiculous 'cause Dogs Don't Have Arms. If You're Going To Put Clothes On The Dog, You Should Put Two Pairs Of Pants On It.