I Believe That Comedians Do

As An Actor, You Deal With So Much Rejection And Humiliation. When The Good Things Come Around, You Tend Not To Trust Your Instincts.

Have You Seen The Bologna That Has The Olives In It? Who's That For? 'i Like My Bologna Like A Martini. With An Olive.' 'i'll Have The Bologna Sandwich - Dirty.'

I'm Bald, Blind And Pale. I'm Like A Gigantic Recessive Gene.

You Ever Read An Article, And At The Bottom, It Says, 'continued On Page Six'? I'm , 'not For Me. I'm Done.'

I Think It's Great Some Hotels Provide Stationery. Because The First Thing I Like To Do When I Get To A Hotel Room Is Write A Letter. "my Dearest Gwendolyn, I Arrived By Nightfall At The Embassy Suites. It Will Be A Fortnight After My Return That This Letter Shall Arrive. Allow Me To Explain The Curious Charge At The Ledger. It Is Because I Miss Thee So Much, Darling, I Accidentally Ordered Sorrority Sisters 7."