I Asked God For A

I Go To Pick Up A Girl In A Bar. I Say Will You Go Home With Me? She Says I Don't Know, Do You Have Cable? I Say No, But The Rope Should Work Just Fine.

When I Was A Kid I Used To Pray Every Night For A New Bicycle. Then I Realised That The Lord Doesn't Work That Way So I Stole One And Asked Him To Forgive Me.

Sex Is Logically Impossible After Marriage. You Have To Overcome The Paradox Of Not This Again, And Hey, Where Did You Learn That?

When I Was A Kid My Dad Would Say, "emo, Do You Believe In The Lord?" I'd Say, "yes!" He'd Say, "then Stand Up And Shout Hallelujah!" So I Would ... And I'd Fall Out Of The Roller Coaster.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.