I Am Really In Love

I Don’t Know If You’ve Ever Felt Like That. That You Wanted To Sleep For A Thousand Years. Or Just Not Exist. Or Just Not Be Aware That You Do Exist. Or Something Like That. I Think Wanting That Is Very Morbid, But I Want It When I Get Like This. That’s Why I’m Trying Not To Think. I Just Want It All To Stop Spinning.

Except That My Father Got A Raise, And My Mother Didn't Because She Doesn't Get Paid For Housework, And My Sister Stopped Reading Those Self-esteem Books Because She Met A New Boy

Sometimes, I Think Bill Forgets That I Am Sixteen. But I Am Very Happy That He Does.

I Know That Things Get Worse Before They Get Better Because That’s What My Psychiatrist Says, But This Is A Worse That Feels Too Big.

There Are Other People Who Have It A Lot Worse