I Am Not Pretty. I

When I Wake, I Have A Brief, Delicious Feeling Of Happiness That Is Somehow Connected With Peeta. Happiness, Of Course, Is A Complete Absurdity At This Point, Since At The Rate Things Are Going, I'll Be Dead In A Day. And That's The Best-case Scenario, If I'm Able To Eliminate The Rest Of The Field, Including Myself, And Get Peeta Crowned As The Winner Of The Quarter Quell. Still, The Sensation's So Unexpected And Sweet I Cling To It, If Only For A Few Moments. Before The Gritty Sand, The Hot Sun, And My Itching Skin Demand A Return To Reality.

I Think Of The Snarling, Cruel Exchange Back On The Hovercraft. The Bitterness That Followed. But All I Say Is "i Can't Believe You Didn't Rescue Peeta." "i Know," He Replies. There's A Sense Of Incompleteness. And Not Because He Hasn't Apologized. But Because We Were A Team. We Had A Deal To Keep Peeta Safe. A Drunken, Unrealistic Deal Made In The Dark Of Night, But A Deal Just The Same. And In My Heart Of Hearts, I Know We Both Failed. "now You Say It," I Tell Him. "i Can't Believe You Let Him Out Of Your Sight That Night," Says Haymitch.

Oh, That I Do Know...katniss Will Pick Whoever She Thinks She Can't Survive Without.

I'll Tell Them How I Survive It. I'll Tell Them That On Bad Mornings, It Feels Impossible To Take Pleasure In Anything Because I'm Afraid It Could Be Taken Away. That's When I Make A List In My Head Of Every Act Of Goodness I've Seen Someone Do. It's Like A Game. Repetitive. Even A Little Tedious After More Than Twenty Years. But There Are Much Worse Games To Play.

No More Fear Of Hunger. A New Kind Of Freedom. But What Then ... What? What Would My Life Be Like On A Daily Basis? Most Of It Has Been Consumed With The Acquisition Of Food. Take That Away And I'm Not Really Sure Who I Am, What My Identity Is. The Idea Scares Me Some.