I Am Married To Beatrice

I Have Never Seen A Situation So Dismal That A Policeman Couldn't Make It Worse.

That You, Sister. May You Be The Mother Of A Bishop.

I Ruined My Health Drinking To Other People's.

I Was Court-martialled In My Absence, And Sentenced To Death In My Absence, So I Said They Could Shoot Me In My Absence.

There Is No Such Thing As Bad Publicity Except Your Own Obituary.