I Abhor Nothing More Than

If You Want To Be Happy For A Short Time, Get Drunk Happy For A Long Time, Fall In Love; Happy Forever, Take Up Gardening.

It Was Julie Burchill Who Decreed That, Beyond A Certain Age, A Man Should Not Be Seen In A Leather Jacket.

I'm An Armchair Kind Of Guy, Especially When It's Raining, Which It Always Is And Always Will Be.

My Eyebrows Could Do With A Trim.

It's Worth Turning Up To An Awards Gig If You Know You've Won One But, Since You Never Do Know, It's Not Worth It.