Humpty Had Always Sat On

A Missing Arm Might Ruin Your Symmetry. Personal Asymmetry Where I Come From Is A Big Taboo And Brings Great Shame On The Family And Sometimes Even The Whole Village." "do You Then Have To Kill Yourself Over It Or Something?" "goodness Me, No! The Family And Village Just Have To Learn To Be Ashamed--and Nuts To Them For Being So Oversensitive.

I Still Feel Threatened By Academics, But My Books Have A Lot Of Academic In-jokes And Everybody Assumes I Went To University And Studied English.

Okay, This Is The Wisdom. First, Time Spent On Reconnaissanse Is Never Wasted. Second, Almost Anything Can Be Improved With The Addition Of Bacon. And Finally, There Is No Problem On Earth That Can't Be Ameliorated By A Hot Bath And A Cup Of Tea.

Fiction Wouldn't Be Much Fun Without Its Fair Share Of Scoundrels, And They Have To Live Somewhere.

Acceptable Rules Of Conduct Were Suspended When It Came To The Spoon Shortage. The Deficit Had Gotten So Bad That Prices Were All But Unaffordable, And Dynastic Spoon Succession Had Become A Matter Of Considerable Interest. Spoons Were Even Postcode Engraved And Carried On One's Person To Eliminate Theft, And Good Table Manners, One Of The Eight Pillars Upon Which The Collective Was Built, Had Been Relaxed To Allow Tea To Be Stirred - Shockingly - With The Handle Of A Fork.