How Can I Have Morning

I'll Never Understand Why People Go To Movie Theaters To Have Conversations. Going To The Movies To Talk Is Like Going To A Restaurant To Cook. The Idea Is That You Have Paid Your Money To Have Someone Do Something Better Than You Can Do It Yourself.

In High School I Was Voted The Girl Most Likely To Become A Nun. That May Not Be Impressive To You, But It Was Quite An Accomplishment At The Hebrew Academy.

I Was Going To Have Cosmetic Surgery Until I Noticed That The Doctor's Office Was Full Of Portraits By Picasso.

I Had Teeth That Stuck Out So Far, I Used To Eat Other Kids' Candy Bars By Accident.

All Men Are Afraid Of Eyelash Curlers. They Don't Understand Them, And They Don't Want To Get Near Them. I Sleep With One Under My Pillow, Instead Of A Gun.