How Can I Die? I'm

Since I've Made It To 87 So Far, Obviously My Two Kids And My Seven Grandchildren Haven't Been Too Hard On Me. On The Other Hand, The Fact That I Have An Unlisted Phone Number And Move A Lot Might Have Something To Do With It.

Someone Who Makes You Laugh Is A Comedian. Someone Who Makes You Think And Then Laugh Is A Humorist.

There Will Always Be A Battle Between The Sexes Because Men And Women Want Different Things. Men Want Women And Women Want Men.

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.

Happiness Is A Dry Martini And A Good Woman ... Or A Bad Woman.