Honestly, This Will Never Happen

I Don't Know Why, But I've Always Been A Sucker For Roller Coasters In Movies.

I'm Glad That As A 33-year-old Working Mother, I Can Still Choose To Wear A Hello Kitty T-shirt Or Stay Up Late Scrolling Through The Twitter Feed Of My Junior-high Crush.

Everybody Knows That I'm Not A Snob When It Comes To Pop Culture, Obviously. I Love Reality Shows.

The Fashion Industry Isn't Merely Content To Encase My Meaty Flanks In Skintight Denim. Oh, No! That Denim Also Has To Be White, A Color That Attracts Ketchup, Wine, Garlic Aioli, And Any Other Foodstuffs I Might Otherwise Be Able To Enjoy If I Wasn't Wearing Ridiculously Tight Pants.

I Know Most People Don't Like To Be Around Teenagers But I Do. I'm One Of The Only People I Can Think Of Who Can't Wait For My Kid To Be A Teenager. I Think Being A Teenager Is One Of The Most Wonderful Things In The World. I Really Enjoyed It - Just This Heightened Emotional State Where Everything Is Beautiful And Everything Is New And You're Convinced That You're Really Going To Break The Mould And Be Different From Your Parents. And The Best Part Is That You Have So Much More Time That You Didn't Have As A Child.