Hollywood's Just Not Funny.

You Know, Some People Say Life Is Short And That You Could Get Hit By A Bus At Any Moment And That You Have To Live Each Day Like It's Your Last. Bullshit. Life Is Long. You're Probably Not Gonna Get Hit By A Bus. And You're Gonna Have To Live With The Choices You Make For The Next Fifty Years.

The Key To Staying Together Is Making Sure You Guys Like Each Other And Need Each Other.

I'm In Show Business... I Want To Hang Out With Janet Jackson, Not Jesse Jackson.

You Can Never Make A Woman Happy, It's Impossible. I've Never Met A Happy Woman In My Life. They're Always Complaining About Something.

Whatever Your Woman Is Into, You Better Be Into. Whatever Your Man Is Into, You Better Be N2. Your Partner Into Church, You Better Be Into Church. Your Man Or Woman A Crack Head, You Better Be A Crack Head ... Otherwise It Just Won't Work.