Hey, I Drank Milk That

If Your Olympic Hero Were To Use The Worm In The 1996 Olympic Games, It Would Be So Embarassing To All The Other Atheletes - And Our Country, Mind You- That The Usa Would Have Finished Behind Guam.

Ive Been Chastised For Going Into Mixed Martial Arts And Backing Out. But The Reason I Backed Out Was The Terms - They Wanted Me Ready To Fight In Four Weeks, But Youve Got To Be Out Of Your Mind. So I Decided To Go Back To My Roots, Back To Wrestling.

I Wasn't Surprised At All. In Fact, I Thought, Why Stop There? Why Not Add The Big Show, Or Chris Jericho, Or The Whole State Of Nebraska For That Matter? And Don't You Think A Wrestling Ring Is A Little Old School, Lilian? Why Not Put The Match In A Shark Tank, With Real Live Sharks? Hungry Sharks! And The Only Way To Beat Your Opponent Is To Stuff Him Down A Shark's Throat, And Pin The Shark. Wouldn't That Be A Hoot?

I Hear Your Chants. I Hear Your Cat Calls. And Yes It's True. I'm Obsessed With Other Men's Balls. Word!

Canada Is Lacking Two Things. It's True. Don't Make Me Say It Again. The First Is Olympic Heroes [...] The Second Thing That Canada Is Lacking Is Memorial Day, Which Is Today By The Way, Where We In The States Celebrate Our War Heroes By Having Barbeques . And I Realize Here In Canada You Can't Have Barbeques Because You'd Probably Be Attacked By A Moose, Or Caribou, Or Even A Grizzly.