Here's A Foolproof Method For

Where There's Smoke Around A Conservative, There Are Journalists Furiously Rubbing Two Sticks Together.

Democrats Couldn't Care Less If People In Indiana Hate Them. But If Europeans Curl Their Lips, Liberals Can't Look At Themselves In The Mirror.

As The Leader Of Twelve Apostles, Even Jesus Had More Executive Experience Than Obama.

If I'm Going To Say Anything About John Edwards In The Future, I'll Just Wish He Had Been Killed In A Terrorist Assassination Plot.

Some People Say I'm Really Ugly And Anorexic; Some Say The Only Reason I'm On Tv Is Because I'm Pretty. I Say To Them: Get Your Slander Straight. You Are What You Are, Whether You're Small Or Skinny Or Smart Or Dumb. Just Do What You Do.