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Newt Gingrich Wants To Build A Colony On The Moon. Ok, You Say, But Why? Well, He Wants To Be The First American To Get Divorced On The Moon.

One Of The Dogs In The Competition, A Portuguese Water Dog, Is Related To President Obama's Dog, Bo. But They Only See Each Other At Funerals And Weddings.

This Osama Bin Laden, Now They Say He Has Had Plastic Surgery. They Say He Sneaked Across The Border Into Pakistan, Which By The Way Is The Place To Go To Have Plastic Surgery. He Looks Great. A Tourist Came Up To Him Earlier This Week And Said, 'may I Have Your Autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

Do You Know Who Is Ready To Go With The Presidential Campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb Already Has Plans To End The War In Iraq That His Brother Started. All He Needs Is A Hot Tub Time Machine.

Congratulations To Ohio State, Your New College Football Champions. Coach Urban Meyer May Be The Greatest Football Coach Of All Time. Don't Confuse Him With New York Mayor Bill De Blasio. That's Urban Quagmire.