Haiku Sounds Like I'm Saying

If You Want To Get Rid Of Stuff, You Can Always Do A Good Spring-cleaning. Or You Can Do What I Do. Move.

Penguins Mate For Life. Which Doesn't Really Surprise Me, Because They All Look Exactly Alike. It's Not Like They're Gonna Meet A Better-looking Penguin Someday.

Life Is About Balance. The Good And The Bad. The Highs And The Lows. The Thing Everyone Should Realize Is That The Key To Happiness Is Being Happy By Yourself And For Yourself. Happiness Comes From Within. You Have The Power To Change Your Own Mindset So That All The Negative, Horrible Thoughts That Try To Invade Your Psyche Are Replaced With Happy, Positive, Wonderful Thoughts.

Right Before I Decided To Come Out, I Went On A Spiritual Retreat Called 'changing The Inner Dialogue Of Your Subconscious Mind.' I'd Never Been To Anything Like It Before, And All My Friends Were Taking Bets On How Long I'd Last With No Tv, No Radio, No Phone. But For Me That Was The Beginning Of Paying Attention To All The Little Things.

I Cannot Believe They Haven't Yet Come Up With A Better Screening Process Than The Mammogram. If A Man Had To Put His Special Parts Inside A Clamp To Test Him For Anything, I Think They Would Come Up With A New Plan Before The Doctor Finished Saying, "put That Thing There So I Can Crush It.