God Created Man, But I

If You Can't Make It Better, You Can Laugh At It.

Sometimes I Can't Figure Designers Out. It's As If They Flunked Human Anatomy.

It's Frightening To Wake Up One Morning And Discover That While You Were Asleep You Went Out Of Style.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will Last For Ever.

There's Something Wrong With A Mother Who Washes Out A Measuring Cup With Soap And Water After She's Only Measured Water In It.