From This Moment On I'd

A New Study Says By 2030 Household Robots Will Dominate Every Phase Of Our Lives. The Study Says The No. 1 Field For Robot Growth Is Medicine. That Makes Sense. Robots Already Perform Well In Surgery. That Is, Until There Is A Power Outage. Then It's Just A Coat Rack Leaning Over You As You Bleed To Death.

By The Power Of Steven Wright's Beard!

A Dozen Swimming Events Have Already Been Completed In The Olympic Competition. I Wonder Where They Got The Name 'speedo.' It Doesn't Sound Like A Bathing Suit, It Sounds Like A Breakfast Cereal For Meth Addicts.

Aphrodisiacs Come In Many Forms: Food, Drink, The Internet.

People Spend Thousands Of Dollars Trying To Keep Their Teeth Straight. I Just Hope We Can Live In A World Where We Accept Gay Teeth.