For Five Hundred Dollars, I'll

The Children Are Our Future. And That Is Why, Ultimately, We're Screwed Unless We Do Something About It. If You Haven't Noticed, The Children Who Are Our Future Are Good-looking, But They Aren't All That Bright. As Dense As They Might Be, They Will Eventually Notice That Adults Have Spent All The Money, Spread Disease, And Turned The Planet Into A Smoky, Filthy Ball Of Death. We're Raising An Entire Generation Of Dumb, Pissed-off Kids Who Know Where The Handguns Are Kept. This Is Not A Good Recipe For A Happy Future.

Our Perceptions Of Truth Are Built Around What Is Practical, Not What Is True. Even The Smartest Human Brain Doesn't Have The Capacity For Discerning True Facts. That's Why So Many Of Us Settle For Scientific Facts. It's The Best We Can Do.

One Of The Great Things About Being Ignorant Is That I Often Think My Ideas Are Original. It's A Wonderful Feeling. That's Why I Try To Avoid Any Knowledge That Would Spoil The Sensation. Sometimes It Isn't Easy. People Keep Hurling Knowledge At Me, And I Can't Always Duck.

Everyone, Including Skeptics, Will Generate Delusions That Match Their Views. That Is How A Normal And Healthy Brain Works. Skeptics Are Not Exempt From Self-delusion.

Dilbert: Evolution Must Be True Because It Is A Logical Conclusion Of The Scientific Method. Dogbert: But Science Is Based On The Irrational Belief That Because We Cannot Perceive Reality All At Once, Things Called Time And Cause And Effect Exist. Dilbert: That's What I Was Taught And That's What I Believe. Dogbert: Sounds Cultish.