Fat Is Where Comedy Is

Italian Women Are Some Of The Most Beautiful In The World. This Is Why The Vatican Is In Italy. If A Man Can Walk Across Italy And Retain His Celibacy, He's Got What It Takes To Be A Priest - Or An Interior Decorator.

I Don't Think Wood Was Discovered In Britain Until The 1970's. That's When I Discovered It Anyway.

Former President George W. Bush Released His New Memoir. By The Way, 'memoir' Is Just A Fancy Word For 'a Bunch Of Stuff That Happened To Me.

I Don't Want To Be Poor. I Don't Want To Be Rich To The Extent That All I Care About Is Keeping My Job. I Don't Care Enough About Keeping My Job Right Now. That's Good. That Makes Effective At What I Do. I Don't Want To Be Frightened Of Getting Fired. So To That End I Suppose My Ambitions Are That I Spend Less Than I Earn.

Historically, When Americans Don't Know What To Do Next, They Go To Paris. Benjamin Franklin Is Like: 'what Am I Going To Do Now? I'll Go To Paris!'