Family Planning Experts Are Now

It Is Day Two Of The Democratic Convention, And Apparently They Had A Huge Lighting Problem In The Convention Hall Today. They Worked All Day On It. They Still Couldn't Get President Obama Out Of Bill Clinton's Shadow.

Barack Obama Now Says He Is Open To Offshore Oil Drilling. So, Apparently, When He Promised Change, He Was Talking About His Mind.

In South Korea, A Scientist Considered To Be One Of The Pioneers In The Field Of Cloning Has Been Sentenced To Two Years In Prison. At Least, They Think It's Him.

According To The New York Daily News, Geraldo Said He Is Now Carrying A Gun, And He Will Personally Shoot Osama Bin Laden If He Finds Him. If Osama Also Has A Gun, This Could Work Out Okay.

Inauguration Security Was Tighter Than Kirstie Alley In A Pair Of Spandex Pants.