Everything I Ever Learned I

I Used To Get Bummed Out When It Rained; Then I Realized That It's God's Way Of Washing Off Hippies.

I Thought I Would, You Know, Go To College, Get To Law School, Finish, And Then Get A Job And Work As A Lawyer, But That Proved To Be Not A Good Fit For Me.

A Lot Of People Don't Like Bumper Stickers. I Don't Mind Bumper Stickers. To Me A Bumper Sticker Is A Shortcut. It's Like A Little Sign That Says 'hey, Let's Never Hang Out.'

I Think It Would Be Worse To Get Mauled By A Dancing Bear Than Just A Regular Bear Because You Can't Totally Blame The Dancing Bear.

As A Comic, I Think I'm Very Verbally Oriented About A Lot Of The Stuff That I've Written Or Thought Up And How I Say It.